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this endless hopei.
i dreamed of
shooting stars weighed down
i thought that
miracles could some
how come true.
that summer would last
i prayed that
the ice would never
touch our hearts.
—once upon a time.
my chameleon princeMaybe you've forgotten, but three years and fourteen days ago beneath the swaying whispers of the ancient oaks you stroked my hair back and tucked a flower behind my ear and told me with smiling eyes and curved lips that I was the most beautiful girl in the world.
I wonder if you remember the nights where we danced like gypsies under the falling rain and opened our arms up to the clapping of thunder and the blinding spotlights that were made of lightning. The scent of strawberries in our noses and the taste of spring on our tongues as we got drunk on the champagne of laughter and joy. I tripped over my feet and clumsy words fell out of my mouth and I wanted to sing you the words of adoration that were caught in a spiderweb in my throat.
And then two years and thirty days ago you changed like a chameleon, and suddenly there was a princess on your arm and you were the prince, complete with the handsome looks and abundant charm—only you weren't mine, and perhaps you never were, but
your laugh is like
a sunburst of colors
on rainy days.
the night was misted
last we said goodbye,
and the dark enveloped us like silk.
i told my friends about it,
and they smiled like camellia blossoms,
the wind is whistling,
whispering whimsical words
weighted with wishes.
such blank betrayal,
surely judas would have approved.
surely he must.
mistress of mazes, the unfortunate one–
you would have known.
there i sat
it would have been
foolish, i suppose, to
hope for anything more.
it would be best
if we could just
embroidered illusionsShe sews her heart on her sleeve, permanent embroidery spun with the threads of faded dreams and the frayed edges of futile wishes. Her pulse rattles like a staccato drum when she sees a handsome face, her eyelashes fluttering like dragonfly wings when she hears a deep voice.
She walks with swaying hips and smiles with beckoning glances. She is an addict that hungers for the sweetness of a caress, a kiss. She wakes up every morning with a different person in her bed, but though the hollow feeling of loneliness never goes away, she thrives on the temporary warmth that radiates from the body next to hers—because sometimes, she wants to believe herself in love, as much as any other girl.
There are hundreds of boys, some nasty, some cruel. Others are kind and yet others are charming; but they all whisper words of affection in the curve of her neck and they all have hot eyes and thirsty mouths, and she never touches a drop of alcohol but she feels herself getting drunk nonetheless on
sunlit rosesIt takes some talent, to make someone love you as much as I do.
We've known each other for a while now, and ever since that first meeting, I've recalled how our relationship has transformed from exchanging aloof smiles to trading inside jokes that no one else could possibly understand.
There's something about you that I just can't put my finger on, something that makes me want to smile and laugh and cry all at once, because even if I'm unable to make heads or tails of it, I want it to be mine all the same.
I want to be the one who catches your tears and strokes your hair. I want to be your shoulder to lean on, your pillar of strength, your well of dreams. I want to be as essential to you as breathing, so that you can know how I feel everyday whenever I catch a glimpse of your smile.
You are my sky, my sunshine, my source of warmth. You make me believe that I can achieve great things and that I am not ordinary. You make me feel like I am special.
Every time I can erase worry from your b
winter comes earlyi.
spring drifted by,
sunny clouds bathed
in warm breezes;
and i sang tunes,
to the man in the moon.
you heard me singing
(like a nymph, you laughed)
and like apollo you gave chase.
that night you held me
and we sat together, drowned
in silvery starlight.
i always knew apollo hadn't
loved daphne nearly enough;
no wonder she had ran.
who is she, that helen of troy,
seated on that throne of honor,
glittering in the harvest moon?
winter comes early here.
the wind whistles your name
oh, so quietly.
i gently close the door;
perhaps it will open again someday,
(—for i did love you,
just now the carnation is in bloomi.
the young boy picks some
carnations, and gives them to
the young girl with braids.
they run wild through fields
of summer wheat, full of such
he looks so handsome
in his uniform, but she
only sits and cries.
he kisses her hand
and promises to return,
and she tries to smile.
she sends letters filled
with love and air kisses, and
he catches them all.
one day she opens
an envelope with a ring
and she sends back yes.
she buys a dress with
carnations, as a surprise
for him on the day.
she hears the news and
does not cry; she sits numbly,
dry-eyed and hurting.
he looks so handsome
in his uniform, but she
only stands and cries.
she goes to see him
every day with carnations,
scattered where he sleeps.
catch me if you canI'm red and yellow
and green and blue,
I'm here and there
and all around you.
My mortal enemy
is the night.
When the sun sets
then I will take flight.
Too little of me
and nothing will grow,
yet too much of me
and I'll become your foe.
I'll fade out of sight
if it begins to rain;
when the clouds depart
I'll appear once again.
What am I?
I Loved Him Once
I loved him once.
A man of heightened morality;
Speaking few words, just, rigid and cold.
Yet possessing such honour,
A burning, undying fury,
Quenched only by the sound of my voice.
Or ignited by it.
I loved him once.
A man of hidden demons,
He kept that shattered shell buried deep.
I had known him always;
I knew little even then,
Placated only by the fragile hope,
That he was mine.
I loved him once.
A man whose greatest fear,
Was the prospect of never facing mortality.
That boy of beating fire,
Found in the woods,
By a little girl chasing a pigeon,
Who should have died.
I loved him once.
A man who tried to save me,
Weighed down by that old moral burden.
Never did he leave,
Running to come find me,
Hidden fury no longer encased in stone,
I finally saw him.
He loved me once.
A woman without a name;
Too vulnerable and cold to see the truth.
So alone within that love,
That I never knew his sacrifice;
Each aching pain and torture born in silence,
Until he was dead.
Quietly, GentlyShy smiles and fluttering butterflies,
My heart would beat faster when I looked into your eyes.
Even then, as I held you warmly in my arms,
Every word you said put me under your charm.
Dozing off, I sent you a little smile.
And told you that it’s fine to fall asleep for a while.
When you awoke, the sun was setting for its own time to sleep.
So I pulled you close and breathed in so deep.
Quietly, in the dark, I slowly fell in love.
Gently in my arms, I called you my little dove.
Isomnia.To the mocking flash of my cell phone clock
The glitter of morning my closed blinds block
In a hunch on a chair or a ball on my bed
Comfortable and comfy but I stay up instead
With paper and pens and paintbrushes I raise
And the stories that unfold on each turning page
Youtube, Facebook, and clicking links
Are the things that keep me from even a blink
Round and round, my thoughts echo and spin
Closing my eyes even seems like a sin
Redbull, pepsi, and midnight snacks
Drinks of sugar in tempting twelve packs
The silence of myself and the embrace of a book
Casting and reeling until sleep's on my hook
They say theres plenty of fish in the sea
But sleep swims deeper than my hook can see
Alone in a dimming desk lamp light
Confronted by morning that stepped through the night
Open curtains, birds with a morning song
It's a shame I had to wait this long.
ReleaseRealms of conciousness
Exalted bliss to be found within
Lamentations of pain, let it all go
Eagles sight set on the future, sailing
All on the winds of change I see the truth
Sadness is the mask worn until the souls' beauty
Escapes from the past, a beatiful dream is realized
It only hurts because we both feel the same wayDusk
And in the depths of this never ending twilight my mind retraces its steps,
Following the veins along your arms and across your chest.
Counting the memories as they slip between my finger tips,
Remembering when times were good
And you said you’d write a love song for every one of my tears.
But those days are long gone, now fading stars in the darkest of nights.
When our souls were light and our days care free,
We would watch the leaves as they fell from the trees.
Each one a dying light, like a firework that streaks through the night
But we built a fire so big and so bright,
An undying passion blazing in the night.
I found heaven in your eyes the murky blue like stormy skies,
The curve of your lip like a mountain range,
I could sit forever and gaze at you this way.
My piece of heaven in the depths of hell,
Your light reached out to me and healed all my scars.
When you said that every breath I take is a tiny gift to you in a miraculous way, I welled up i
Small TrinketIt stood there in the meadow,
Glaring at the grass and overturned rock.
Its life was not known to many,
but it continued to prance happily down the beaten path.
Many times were its brothers and sisters slain,
Yet it only knew peace and forgiveness.
It liked to nibble on the heads of the daffodil,
and take sips from the gentle brook.
Though its life would never be more than a dream
Its presence would be everlasting.
Like the ancestors before it,
the small creature danced to the edge of the world,
and jumped into the sky to be with the stars;
Making sure to leave a small trinket behind.
MiracleThere used to be a time
When somewhere deep inside
I felt that my every breath was a crime
And that I had no place to reside
All I saw was darkness
Filing my soul with hopelessness
Slowly it pulled me under
Using my broken body as plunder
Gradually I fell deeper and deeper
Vastly losing myself
Morphing into something I despise…
But…suddenly… Everything changed
Blew through my life
Repairing all the damage
And cutting the dark with a knife
I felt the damage slowly mending
And in my heart I realize
You are the miracle in me
I Can't Hear You AnymoreThe clouds are heavy tonight,
And I am suffocating,
Choking on my own words
As they fly from my mouth.
You never cared about yourself,
And after your death that
Became hard to think about.
(But I do anyway.)
I suddenly find myself missing
The years we had spent together
And how spider webs would form in
The corners of your eyes when you smiled.
But the thing is that I can’t hear you anymore.
I can’t remember the sound
Of your voice or the feeling of
Your hands as they touched my lips.
You once told me that home
Is where you lie,
But I hate it here, and
I hate living with these ghosts.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More